Fluttering My Feelings (Par- Sike!

I didn’t post anything for last week and I was thinking of skipping this week too, since what is there to post.

What is disappointment? Disappointment is excitingly going on Comico, flexing my finger muscles for that mouse scroll, doing eyelids exercise for my eyeballs to bask in the cuteness glory of my babies but then what do I get? What do I get?! Disappointment. I was really excited for that ‘special’ chapter, ready to fangirl like crazy but a special chapter turned out to be special indeed. I know I’m complaining and venting out my frustration when I know I should be grateful that I even get to read Fluttering Feelings at all. We should be glad that Ssamba decides to grace us with her beautiful works and not blame her on not updating because she has a life too, when we actually get this for free. But sometimes…

bear flips table

But I guess waiting a week for updates to come out is easy and I shouldn’t be affected by it…too much. Have you ever wait for an update on a chapter of a manga to come out only once a month and sometimes that may get delay and you don’t get to read until 2 or 3 months later. And then sometimes these chapters that come out have very slow progressing story line because the author needs to build up tension and you’re sitting in the corner rocking yourself back and forth telling yourself to calm down and perform meditation so you don’t scream out in frustration and scare the crap out of your family. Yeah, me neither.

But yeah I did wait for months for an update to come out and yeah I’m talking about you Skip Beat. I’ve been following that manga for almost 6 years (but it has started since 2002) starting in high school and not until recently did I stop catching for its updates because like oh.my.gushness. And the manga is still not finish! I predict that story still has 5 or more years to go or maybe even more and by the time I retire the story is probably still not finish.

Anyway, what was I talking about. Oh yeah, I decide to post something today because update is going back on tomorrow so I’m kinda excited (not trying to give myself too much hope in case I’ll get a big disappointment again) so I’m like what the hey, let’s just talk. So now I’m here writing and you’re here reading.

Well, since there isn’t much to talk about because there is no update I’ll talk about myself. I’ll go back to my regular blogging about my life for one post. Actually, now that I think about it, I don’t think there is anything exciting that I want to talk about. Oh wait, I have one.

I saw this girl.Yeah, yeah, I know. My story always starts with that, always with a girl but that’s because girls always get me. So, I saw this girl and she is super cute (I think) but I did not talk to her. Why? Well, I’m a coward and she was fucking a 100 feet away, can’t run to her and say hi. Not only is that creepy, it’s also very desperate and I ain’t desperate- at least I don’t think so. See, this is the problem that I have. I tell people to go for the one they love, don’t regret and live life. And here I’m saying I don’t have the guts to walk up to a girl. Now that I think about it, I’m the most cowardly person out of all people. However, I have to say I’m glad this happen. It has been awhile since I start to really find anyone attractive enough to have feelings for them. I’m not saying that people are ugly and I have high standard because I definitely don’t. I mean I find Kim Kardashian looking hot sometimes and her butt, and her fashion sense, so my taste definitely have issue.

It just has been hard for me to have crush on people, maybe I don’t click with others as I used to. But that’s not even the hardest part, the hardest part is to find another person you can potentially have a crush on. And no, having a crush on a straight girl doesn’t count.

dating in the gay world and finding a job

Anyway, that’s it for today. I know is not much but just talking about my love life makes me want to cry and I have mascara on so I don’t want to cry. But I have been on a move looking for a girlfriend, which I proudly admit. I don’t know, sometimes people are scare to admit that they want to date in fear of others judging them to be too desperate or something is wrong with them. Well I am desperate and that’s all FF’s fault. Reading about Seol-A and No-Rae creates imagination in my head that maybe one of the day, a beautiful girl will accidentally walks into me and we’re going to start a wonderful relationship together. Yeah, that chance of happening in my life is going to be so high.

believe it achieve it

Definitely, Yoda. It must be true if you say so.

Hopefully, I didn’t bore you guys too much. And hopefully when the next chapter comes out, which is tomorrow, Ssamba is not going to throw us another ‘special chapter’. Let me get some Seol-Rae. Pleaseeeee.

Peace! Holla!!

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