Hi guys and gals, welcome to Tuesday’s post. Today’s topic is going to be a little controversial because it’s not a popular belief that gays think about their sexuality.
But before I start, of course I’m going to have my disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I am an Asian American, so English is not my first language. If you see some grammar mistakes and spelling errors, don’t complain. Bish, I already told you I’m half Asian. Also, anything and everything I say or imply is based on my opinion and should not be taken seriously. As a matter of fact, do not ever get serious on what I say, you have been warned.
What is the most popular question that most straight people ask their gay friends or someone who is gay? I give you hint, I mentioned in my last post.
When did you become gay?
The most popular question that straight people ask when you first come out to them and the one question that they never quite understand on why you get so upset when they ask it. A lot of gays are up in arms about this questions because the word ‘become’ implies that they choose to be gay. We gays didn’t choose to be anything but ourselves. We are born gay. If anything, if we have the ability to choose, almost everyone will want to be straight to avoid all the dramas and pains.
Are we really born gay? We are because Lady Gaga said so!
Saying that we’re born gay, does that not imply we have a gay gene inside us? Isn’t it a little too reaching on trying to simplify and squeeze something as complicated as sexuality into a gene that you can pin point in your body?
But before we delve into these questions, let me ask another question. Why do gays get upset on the question, when did you become gay? Is it because the word ‘become’ suggests that they choose to be gay when in reality it is not a choice they can make. I know that if I have a choice I don’t want to be a bisexual, I can get rid of all the headache and drama that I’ll be facing like the acceptance of myself and my coming out.
If being gay is something we decide, it gives straights a good follow up question.
If you’re not born this way, then why don’t you change it?
I get how some people can see this question as a threat to their beliefs. Saying it’s a choice means it can be change, that you’re able to choose differently. So does that mean gay conversion therapy will works? Well, if it’s only a choice then by persuading you to choose another choice, it’s not morally incorrect, is it? I mean I just want you to pick the right choice and the make the correct decision.
So why do we say we’re born gay? It’s because it feels more real and factual. It’s like a fact that you cannot change, you either like it or you don’t but either way you going to be stuck with it. Classifying being gay as a choice will give room to haters to convert us back to being straight or give them hope that we change.
However, in my opinion, I don’t think we’re born gay. To simply say there is a gene out there in our bodies that dictates us in who we like is a little far-fetch. I believe that it’s through our social, cultural and historical upbringings that affect us in who we are and who we will become. We may not think so but even a minimal change can consciously or unconsciously affect our mind. We’re are born as a clean slate and it’s through the environments around us that affect us in who we become. Some people may disagree with me, as they believe it is the genetics in our bodies that play the part in who we become, which bring us to the great debate, is it nature or nurture? There has been a long debate on how someone’s personality, preferences, likes and dislikes are being created. Is it nature or is it nurture? Nobody really knows for sure.
And okay even if you’re born gay, do you have to be gay? If you’re born with a lot of body hairs but you don’t like it and you went and get it laser remove, are you not changing something you’re born with? This question can go both way.
And if you’re not born gay, can you not be gay?
John Corvino, an American author who has published several books on gay related topics, had make a great example on this question. If you’re born not knowing English, but through your upbringings you learn English, English has now become who you are. You think in English, you speak in English and you listen in English. You were born not knowing English but now you do, can I ask you to unlearn it? Can you separate yourself from English? No, because it has become a part of you.
Of course, I’m not eloquent enough to be able to express my opinion and feeling on this issue correctly. So here are the links to the an article that go deeper in understanding about the topic and a video by John Corvino about being born gay.
That’s it for today’s post. Leave a comment below if you have any opinion about this topic. Talk to you again in the next post. Thank youuuuu!!!!
This post contains reference to links and pictures from one or more sources and has given credits where they are due. In no shapes or forms do I make any money out of these products.