I’m Heartbroken and I Want My Heart Back…

Hey, y’all. How are you doing?

Good, that’s good to hear.

Me? Not so good.

Why?

Because I was sick, heartbroken sick.

I couldn’t get out of the bed, I couldn’t brush my teeth and I couldn’t even flush the toilet, although shitting was fine. It was a typical weekend night and I was ready to sit down and start writing on my post when suddenly a wave of emotions came over me and I was paralyze. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t talk. All I could do was make gagging noises, a very unsightly scene. After a few minutes, I was able to finally move but I noticed there were sounds coming out from my body. It sounded like clattering noise with a bunch of sharp glasses hitting each other. You want to know what that sound is? My broken heart.

At this point you’ll be like, what the hell is going on with you?

I don’t know! Sometimes, don’t you just get a feeling of nostalgia suddenly washes over you, your hands start to sweat and your heart starts to pump faster for no reason? Yeah, I got that. I think my heart is broken. Oh, wait… maybe I’m hungry. Hunger and heart breaking sometimes go hands in hands. Hmm, maybe I’m not heartbroken after all. Sorry, false alarm.

false alarm jesus

Anyway, I have been thinking a lot lately.

You actually think?

Yeah, a miracle, right?

I realize I never been through a heartbreak before, which is really sad. I’m not the only one because there are people out there in the world that are in the same situation as me. You know what that mean? We never been in love. You can’t be heartbroken if you never love before. So, for me to not be able to experience heart breaking, I don’t know if I can count myself fortunate or unfortunate. There is a saying, to love and loss is better than to not love at all. Some of you may agree, some of you may not.

In all my lifetime, which is not long, I never actually committed myself in a serious relationship. I had been in a few relationships and went on a couple dates but nothing really last and nothing passed 6 months. So the question is, is it me having problem or I’m just dating the wrong person?

It’s not you, it’s me.

I do think it’s me. It’s not that the others are not good, they’re pretty good. I mean if they’re not good I wouldn’t be dating them in the first place. Who would date someone that they don’t even appreciate? However, I think I have this disease called ‘getting bored of things easily’. From when I was young until now, I would commit myself in things and really put all my effort in the first few months but once it passed a certain point and I could never tell where that point was, my interest started to decline.

I can’t control it and I don’t know how to. I’m afraid that one day when I’m in a relationship, I will reach a point where I’m tired of my girlfriend, I’m going to break up with her and I don’t know how I’m going to explain to her, it’s not you it’s me.

slap gif

I’ll probably get slap but this doesn’t just happen to me, it happens to everyone! That’s human nature, everyone gets bored easily. Why do you think action movies always seem to be more popular than those deep, inspirational slowww movies that make you think? It’s because you can’t help but fall asleep through them. Totally not speaking from experiences.

A good example will be when you get your new phone. When you first get your new phone, you notice you that you touch, hold and play with it every chance you get? Don’t think dirty. You’re extra careful in handling it, you won’t let others play with your phone for too long, heck you may not even let them touch your phone. After a while, your phone becomes an accessory to you. Your want is still there but your need for it is declining. Then you reach a point where you don’t even care anymore. You throw it on the bed, you bang it left and right (still talking about the phone), you have scratches all over it and you even have ketchup sauce on it. At this point, you don’t care.That’s not to say that you won’t panic if you notice your phone is missing but that’s not because of the phone. You are panicking because you can’t go online, check your shits and can’t answer calls or messages. You panic because you can’t connect to people not because you lost your phone.

It’s kind of like being in a relationship. You’re passionate in the first couple months, always try to rip each other’s clothes off, or it is me? Anyway, always want to be with each. Half a year later or more, you start to lose this fire and the passion you used to have. You don’t do as much romantic stuffs as you did before and you start to feel annoy by your lover. By the time you reach to the end of the relationship, you have 2 choices; one, you stay with them (which the cycle starts all over) or two, you break up with them. You stay with them because you still see value in your relationship. You think that there is still something to gain, whether it is love, values, emotions, or material things. Once, you get pass this and you don’t think your relationship can give you any of these things anymore you will break up with them and try to find someone new.

Yes, that’s how heartless humans can be, although, we always believe we have a lot of hearts.

Nah. I don’t think so.

Isn’t this post deep? I told you I was thinking. If I didn’t think, how can I come up with so much stuffs that I don’t even understand?

Post a comment below and tell me what you’ve been thinking lately. Or not. Or just ask me a question, I’ll answer. I’ve gotten smarter lately so maybe I can give you a smart answer.

Today is Friday, so of course I have Friday’s Song of the Week. Today’s song is ‘ずっと一緒 (Zutto Issho)’ by Jay’ed. Love him and love his songs. This song may be old but I think it fits in this time of year, where everyone is getting to go on road trips.

This post contains reference to links and pictures from one or more sources and has given credits where they are due. In no shapes or forms do I make any money out of these products.

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One thought on “I’m Heartbroken and I Want My Heart Back…

  1. a person that can relate

    Hey 🙂 I thought I should comment. Well after reading this i was like…omg I can totally relate to all the things you wrote up there. And i felt kinda relieved to find i wasn’t the only one that gets bored easily. 😀 I must say it is hard us being like that, it makes me wonder when I can fully commit myself to a long term relationship and all… but recently I did find a way on how to control this rapid boredom, so I hope it’ll go well in the future, also for you too 🙂 Your post was nice to read 🙂 keep it up!

    Like

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