If you’re reading this, it means you like my first post to stick around a little longer to continue reading my useless and crazy shits. If this happens to be your first read on my blog then go back and read my first post, this is an order. Or if you were just intrigue by the title of this post then my plan works.
Anyway, thank you for joining Pink Elephant. I am your host, Egg Tart.
Today, we are going to focus on a mystical, magical, mysterious device that every gay know about and wish to possess but only a few have it. In the Gay Land, we called this magical device as the GAYDAR!
You are either bless with having one or curse with having none. Unfortunately, for me I have none. The chance of me successfully able to identify a girl that is les or bi is slimmer than the waistline on those professional models.
For some of you out there, you may not even know what a gaydar is. Gaydar is basically like a metal detector, it will let out a loud shriek when a gay is in your vicinity. The reason I said not so many people have it because this device is scarce and you can’t buy it. You have to summon it.
What I’m about to tell you next is highly confidential and I could most likely break the laws of the Gay Code. But I feel like I have to tell you because more people need to have their gaydars.
Okay, here we go.
In order to summon your gaydar, you need to align the elements of time, weather condition, location and then sprinkle it with your mating call.
The correct time would usually be right around dawn. Don’t ask me why it has to be dawn, it just has to be. Then you have to pair with the right weather condition, which is when Mother Nature pees all over everyone with her special juice, rain. After that, you should expect some form of rainbow sparkling in the sky. When that happen, you drop everything you were doing and immediately and I mean IMMEDIATELY drive to the end of the rainbow. Once you arrive at the rainbow, stripped naked and start your mating call. Your mating call come from within, each person has their own, you have to find it within your soul.
After that, you wait.
By this time, you should see a gay unicorn flying out of the rainbow and lands right in front of your feet. It then will transform itself into a gaydar device. If you don’t see any of this by 15 minutes then I’m sorry to say, you have fail to summon your gaydar.
Nah, I’m just kidding. That’s not what a gaydar is; let’s look at the real legit definition of gaydar.
Here is Google’s definition for what gaydar means, “The putative ability of homosexuals to recognize one another intuitively or by means of very slight indications”. To put in human English, it just basically means the gay have the ability to recognize another gay through their intuitive senses which are assisted by the subtle indications by the other gay (usually stereotypes). Get it? Good.
Popular sites, such as AutoStraddle and AfterEllen have published a lot of articles about gaydar, because it’s such an interesting topic. News media such as N.Y Times, C.N.N or BBC also published articles and studies of how gaydar works. And gaydar is an interesting topic that gets debate over and over again because there is never a right or wrong answer. Some articles will tell you the reason you were able to identify the others as gay, maybe because of the way they dress (this could be stereotyping people). Another way to identify others as gay could be the way they presented themselves, the way they talk, walk and interaction with people. Then there are some articles that said you are born with a gaydar, like you’re born with your sexuality.
But the important question is, is gaydar even real? Well, fortunately gays, gaydar is real. Researchers have found that people are capable of detecting if someone is gay just by looking at them.
There was a N.Y Times articles called “The Science of Gaydar” and in the article it mentioned on one of the researches that explained how people are able to tell if others are gay just by looking at their face. The researchers explained, “…its accuracy is driven by sensitivity to individual facial features as well as the spatial relationships among facial features.” Again, to put in human English, it means that the distance between your nose, eyes or lips can be a sign that tell whether you have a gay face or not.
In the research, the participants only have 50 milliseconds to look the picture and determine if that person is gay or not. The result of the research was not the impressive with only 60% accuracy, but is something cool to think about as science starts to discover on the magical device of gaydar.
So yes, there is such thing as a gay face. I’m bi, so I guess half of my face is gay and the other half is straight. Hmm, no wonder my face looks distorted. On one side it’s curvy and the other side is angular.
Next time when you hear someone calling another person gay, don’t take offend and assume they have a negative intention. They probably know something you don’t.
Whatever it may be, gaydar is still a phenomenon that every gay wish to possess, for good or for bad. But there are no actual ways to figure someone’s sexuality just by looking, unless you have a gaydar. Sometimes the best way to know is to ask. You may get an awkward pause, a judging face or a smile. Whatever it is, you at least know and don’t go on thinking what if.Life is too short, just go out there and have fun and live life.
But if you don’t want to go out and have fun and rather stay in and read my blog, that’s fine toooooo.
With that I’m going to wrap up today’s post and thank you guys for tuning in again. Bye and have-
Wait! Let me throw in a disclaimer before I leave.
Disclaimer: I am an Asian American, so English is not my first language. If you see some grammar mistakes and spelling errors, don’t complain. Bish, I already told you I’m half Asian. Also, anything and everything I say or imply is based on my opinion and should not be taken seriously. As a matter of fact, do not ever get serious on what I say, you have been warned.
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