Welcome to Pink Elephant, a place for the Asian Gay to come and play.
I am your host, Egg Tart, you can also call me Eggy. I am excited to say that I am finally posting my first post, after all the delays and procrastinations. It’s because of my laziness that I keep on dragging this project out, but I know I have been putting this off for a while so I can’t give myself anymore excuses.
Originally, I have wanted to do this over podcast (with other people), but because time and scheduling issue I cannot do so at this moment.
And you may wonder how it is that blogging would be easier than doing podcast? Well, for one, blogging, I would just need to write about my topic; podcasting, I will need to add in an extra step of recording and editing.
Second, it doesn’t match with my schedule. So I ain’t doing it.
Anyway, let’s get back on topic.
Why do I want to do this? Well, I have always wanted to create an online support group for us (the Asians) to come together and share stories, advices and be supportive of each other. In the LGBT community, I always feel like we don’t have a lot of exposure and representation. Only recently do I see the media started to touch upon this topic.
It’s also because of the lack of exposure and representation, you would think that there are a few Asian Gays out there, but I know you gays exist! You guys are just hiding behind the invisibility cloak. So with this, I hope I can reach out to those who are still in the closet or those who are unsure of their sexual preference or even just someone who wanted to know if there are any of Asian Gays out there that are in a similar situation as them. And only recently do I see a movement in Asia where they started to take bigger steps in accepting the LGBT communities.
So if you are Asian that are living in the States or you live in any of the Asian countries, I welcome you come and join the conversation. Even if you’re not Asians, just come and talk. It’s never a bad thing to have too much love and support.
And being an Asian Gay is not easy. There was an article I had come across before that said being Asian and being gay is like fighting a two- front battle. On one end, you have to fight about racism and stereotypes and on the other end you have fight homophobia and lack of representation in the gay community.
I agree with that statement, but I would like to also add that we Asian Gays also have a big obstacle that we have to face… our families.
In the western part of the world, individualism is place higher than collectivism. What it means is that westerners believe their life belong to them, they have the right to live the way they want to, act on their own judgment and follow their own values. While in the Eastern part of the world, we follow the idea of collectivism. We are not ourselves; we belong to a group of people. We don’t follow our own values, we follow the group’s value and we have to act in the ways that benefit the group for the “greater good”.
So for short, we are like sheep and if you happen to be a black sheep…ostracize!
Eww, you’re gay. You are not like so we don’t want you around. Ostracize!
If one of the children happened to be gay and come out to the parents, the first thing the parents will of is what others will think of their family. In their thinking, being gay is a disgrace and abnormal, they will lose “face” in front of others. When it comes to Asian families, your own problem is not just your own… it is EVERYONE problem.
Everyone wants to get in the problem and give their own little opinions on what you should be and what you do and all you wanted was for them to back off.
Fam, I love you and all, but yo back off!
That’s something I always wanted to say, but I’m not allow. I’m not allowed!
Anyway, so the process of coming out as an Asian would be a bit harder. But I understand all coming outs are hard and there is never a perfect time to come out but only when you are ready.
Just to share a secret between you and me, I also have not come out to my family, just my friends. So if you think I have my shits figure out… nope. I have my ulterior motive too for doing this. I hope I can get something out of this as it is for you.
If you are not already bored with what I have to say, please stay tune for my next post and follow me on Facebook so we can start to build our own support community.
Thank youuuuuu. ^^
Disclaimer: I am an Asian American, so English is not my first language. If you see some grammar mistakes and spelling errors, don’t complain. Bish, I already told you I’m half Asian. Also, anything and everything I say or imply is based on my opinion and should not be taken seriously. As a matter of fact, do not ever get serious on what I say, you have been warned.
PS: If you’re nosy and you want to know a little more about me, click on ‘About Me’ tab.
Also PS: This blog also talks about other stuffs; depend on what I like to talk about but if you have any good idea or topic feel free to send it in.
This post contains reference to links and pictures from one or more sources and has given credits where they are due. In no shapes or forms do I make any money out of these products. (The two pictures were from Flickr- Jason Pier in DC.)